The older I get, the more I dislike being a landlord. There’s too much potential for disappointment, misunderstanding, or outright unpleasant moments. When you’re dealing with people and one of your most valuable assets, the margin for frustration is high.
If you want to be a successful landlord—and not get run over—you need to set expectations clearly and enforce them. Otherwise, you’ll constantly feel like you’re letting someone down or, worse, being taken advantage of.
San Francisco’s Hot Rental Market
After 20 years of being a landlord, I’ve experienced all the cycles. And right now, the San Francisco rental market is strong. With home prices near all-time highs, mortgage rates still elevated, and the ongoing AI boom creating more jobs, demand for rentals seems to be increasing.
Earlier this year, my tenants of five years gave notice. That meant I had a chance to test the waters again and re-rent my house. I listed it on Craigslist on a Tuesday and was immediately bombarded with interest.
By Saturday, I hosted two private showings for excellent prospective tenants. Both groups wanted the place on the spot. One wife was so excited she literally shouted: “We’ll take it! I want to move in right now!” when she was living.
These weren’t looky loo candidates either. They were organized, enthusiastic, had great jobs, and excellent credit. It was difficult to choose between them, so I asked each to submit their best offer. Within 10 days, I had selected the tenants, collected the deposit, and received the first month’s rent.
Everything was moving smoothly. Or so I thought.
Preparing The House For New Tenants
Because my wife and I were genuinely excited about this family, we put in extra effort to prepare the home. Over two weeks we painted walls and trim, spackled and sanded uneven spots, scrubbed everything down, and did a massive amount of yard work. It was as if we were prepping the house for sale.
Our previous tenants were solid, but they had neglected the yard. So my kids and I rolled up our sleeves and reseeded, trimmed bushes, pulled weeds, and watered everything to bring it back to life. Rental property maintenance with the kids is something I will regularly do to build their work ethic and knowledge. By move-in day, the house looked fresh, clean, and ready to be enjoyed.
There’s a deep satisfaction that comes from handing over a property in great condition. It sets the tone for the relationship. You hope the tenants will see the pride of ownership and reciprocate by taking care of the place. Further, you mentally feel good knowing your property is in great shape.
The Move-In Demeanor Shift
On move-in day, the husband arrived early for our walkthrough. Calm, polite, and well-prepared, he had scheduled out the day:
- Walkthrough with me at 10 a.m.
- Friend arriving at 11 to help unload a van of more delicate items the tenant brought.
- Main movers coming at 11:30 with a large truck.
Everything about him seemed orderly and respectful.
The wife showed up later, around 11:15, clearly stressed from the packing and logistics at their old place. The joy she’d shown when she shouted, “I want to move in right now!” was nowhere to be found.
When I greeted her with a smile and a “hello,” she barely looked up. No big deal, I told myself—this is a business transaction, not a friendship. Moving is stressful and a lot must have been on her mind.
I wrapped up the walkthrough, explained all the nuances and maintenance tips about the house, handed over the keys, and wished them the best.
The Surprise Request
A week later, I happened to be driving by and saw them outside working in the yard. This was encouraging. I pulled over to say “hello,” and quickly grab a hot tub stool and some chlorine bottles I’d left in outdoor storage.
The husband was friendly, asking how I was doing. But the wife immediately hit me with:
“Hey, I’ve got a question for you. Can you get some mulch and you pay for it? There are some bare spots here and especially in the back.”
No “hello.” No “thanks for the clean yard.” No “the house is great.” Just a request.
Her tone caught me off guard. I expected some acknowledgment of the work we’d already done. Instead, I felt like an employee being given a directive, something I am no longer accustomed to after retiring in 2012. All those hours my kids and I had spent reseeding, trimming, and watering? Apparently meaningless or not good enough to their standards.
I muttered a noncommittal, “Maybe,” and left with a “good-bye” for good measure. I needed time to think about requests after the lease was signed.
I pride myself on providing a great product for the rent people pay. That’s why this rubbed me the wrong way.
My lease—which I’ve been refining since 2005—is multiple pages long and very clear. Nowhere does it say the landlord must provide mulch. In fact, it explicitly states tenants are responsible for maintaining the yard and plants.
During the private showing, they never mentioned mulch. During lease review and edits, mulch never came up. Only after signing did this “expectation” surface.
This is exactly why setting clear expectations is so important. If something isn’t in the lease, it shouldn’t suddenly become a requirement.
The Slippery Slope Of Giving In
Here’s the danger: once you start giving in to extra requests, expectations balloon.
If you buy and spread mulch, what’s next? A Toto Washlet at your expense? Fresh landscaping? A repainted front door in their favorite color when the old door was perfectly fine? The list could be endless.
Tenants are free to ask, but landlords need to protect themselves and are free to also say no. If you oblige every request, you risk blurring the boundaries. Your role shifts from owner to on-call service provider. That semi-passive income no starts turning into active income, which is what you want to avoid.
And when your profit margins are already squeezed by property taxes, mortgage interest, maintenance, and the occasional late rent, doing unpaid “extras” can tip your rental into unprofitability.
Worse than the money is the mental energy drain. Once you establish yourself as a landlord who always says yes, saying no later becomes much harder. Remember, as someone seeking financial independence, your assets must work for you, not the other way around.
Finding A Compromise
After sleeping on it, I decided to offer a middle ground. I emailed the husband—who had been polite and professional from the start—and told him I’d reimburse up to $150 for mulch. They could pick it up themselves and spread it around. At roughly $10 a bag, that would cover about 15–16 bags, which felt reasonable.
This way, I wasn’t setting the precedent of becoming their personal landscaper, but I was still showing some flexibility. To make things easier, I even told them which store to go to and exactly where to find the mulch. It was a small gesture, but I wanted to start the relationship off on the right foot. A little goodwill in the beginning can go a long way over the course of a tenancy.
They accepted right away and seemed genuinely thankful. As it turns out, at their last rental, the landlord expected them to mulch the garden every single year, so they assumed that was standard.
I explained that I hadn’t noticed the bare spots enough to make it part of the lease, but since they brought it up, I was fine with refreshing it every couple of years if needed. I even suggested they spray some Rock Glue to help keep the mulch in place and told them I’d cover the cost of that too.
In the end, what could have been a sticking point turned into a small win-win. They will get the spruced-up yard they wanted, and I got peace of mind knowing we’d started our landlord-tenant relationship with a little cooperation instead of conflict.
I’m confident they’ll turn out to be great, caring tenants—that’s why I chose them in the first place. In the beginning, it’s always a leap of faith.
Why Strict Rules Build Better Relationships
Think back to school. Remember the strict teacher who laid out rules from day one? At first, you thought she was harsh. But by the end of the year, she was your favorite teacher. Why? Because the rules were clear, fair, and consistent.
The same principle applies here. Clear rules create mutual respect. They just need to be reviewed and understood by both parties.
If you’re a tenant: read the lease carefully, ask questions before signing, and clarify expectations upfront.
If you’re a landlord: review the lease line by line, highlight tenant responsibilities, and give tenants a day or two to raise questions. You must be as thorough as possible. Keep improving upon your lease for next time.
That small effort on the front end can save you enormous frustration down the road.
Why I’m Reducing My Landlord Exposure
Interacting with people can be draining, especially when expectations don’t line up or the requests feel unreasonable. Take my old tenants, for example. They wanted me to buy three light fixtures they had installed. I declined. I had already been flexible in letting them swap out the original fixtures, so I told them they could either leave their new ones behind or reinstall mine.
They weren’t thrilled with that answer. Honestly, I found the whole exchange exhausting. I never would have asked my landlord to purchase light fixtures I chose for myself. Maybe it was a cultural difference. But to me, it just felt like another reminder of how mismatched expectations can create unnecessary friction.
If I had simply stuck to the rules and said no to swapping out the original light fixtures, this unnecessary exchange wouldn’t have taken place. But this is what you sometimes get for trying to be flexible and nice.
Although owning rental properties is one of the best ways to build wealth and secure your retirement, I’ve simply reached my limit for wanting to deal with all the issues. I can’t wait to sell another rental property in a couple of years to qualify for the tax-free exclusion rule.
Landlording Can Be Like Working A Corporate Job
One of the main reasons I left corporate America was due to people. Office politics, difficult personalities, and constant requests wore me down after 13 years.
Being a landlord is often no different. Even with supposedly “perfect” tenants, issues arise. That’s why, even though I’m still bullish long-term on San Francisco real estate, I accepted a preemptive offer in 2025 for my old primary residence that was a rental for one year.
I reinvested 100% of the proceeds into the S&P 500, individual stocks, Treasury bonds, and venture capital—investments that require zero people management. Shifting semi-passive rental income into truly passive investments has been a relief.
Lessons Learned For Landlords
Here are the main takeaways from this experience:
- Set clear expectations upfront. Your lease is your rulebook. Don’t rely on verbal understandings.
- Don’t change the terms midstream. If it’s not in the lease, it’s optional, not mandatory.
- Be careful with “extras.” Once you start saying yes, tenants may keep asking for more.
- Protect your margins. Expenses creep quickly; don’t let small favors turn into big, ongoing obligations.
- Respect goes both ways. Kindness and courtesy matter. Tenants who treat you well deserve more flexibility than those who don’t. Use your emotional intelligence to make life easier.
In my next lease agreement, I plan to spell out more details around exterior maintenance, clarify that the property is rented “as is,” and specify that tenants may make improvements or aesthetic changes only with prior approval—and at their own expense.
It’s good to learn from every new tenant to make the next experience better.
Let’s All Understand And Follow The Lease
At the end of the day, both landlords and tenants want a positive experience. Tenants want value for what they pay. Landlords want tenants who care for the property and are self-sufficient. Neither party wants to keep going back and forth with each other during the entire time of stay.
This balance is achievable, but only when both sides clearly understand and follow the lease. Without expectations, frustration grows. With them, the relationship has a real chance of succeeding.
Landlords, have you ever had tenants ask for things that went beyond the lease? How did you handle it—did you accommodate, push back, or find a middle ground? And tenants, I’d love to hear your side too. Have you ever convinced a landlord to go above and beyond what was in your lease? If so, how did you pull it off?
At the end of the day, I think setting expectations is the foundation of a smooth landlord-tenant relationship. But I’m curious—how important do you think it really is, and where do you draw the line?
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